नेगातिविटी Begone

I have a father who is possibly not getting better, and he won’t tell anyone if he’s feeling worse or not. I have a brother who is now staying with me, can’t find a job, and won’t pick up after himself. He’s taking over my house. I have a boyfriend who wants me to kick said brother out, or something along those lines. I have enough to worry about. I don’t need any more negativity.
I am drowning, and I feel like I haven’t got a friend in the world right now. It sucks. I know people care about me, but no one can help me. I have to fix this myself, and it sucks. I am tired of carrying the weight of the world (as I see it) on my shoulders and all I get from people is what I’m doing wrong. I don’t care what you think anymore. I’m doing the best I can with what I have. If you can’t say nice things to me, or pray for me, then don’t do anything. Just stop.
I am sick of people being nice to my face, then talking about me behind my back like I am a horrible person. I do things for others all the time. I buy them things, give money, take care of their kids because they didn’t pay their bills. NO MORE! The bank of Rebecca is closed.
Yes, I realize I have dated the same man for nine years. Yes, he is probably never going to marry me. You think I don’t know that? Jeez. I may be blind in one eye, but I’m not STUPID, contrary to popular belief. Live your own life, let me muck up my own. It’s bad enough already. I don’t need any more help.
I am just sick of it all. I want to scream, and I can’t. I want to hit something, and I can’t. I have to sit here like a good girl and act like I have it all together, when in truth, we are so close to losing our house, it’s not even funny. Don’t tell me I don’t know the seriousness of my situation…I know it all too well. I can’t sleep at night because I know it.